The Life Of A LittlBUGer

Today I thought I’d grace everyone with a fun experience I had with Gateway a couple years ago.  I’ve already posted it on the wonderful site ClientCopia, but I thought I’d repost it here as well for your enjoyment.  :-)   So here it is:

I was working on a computer at my work that had a strange error (I work in the IT department). After much troubleshooting, I decided to chat with Gateway online (gasp!) to see if they could help, or just give me a replacement. Here’s the chat log with the original explanation on my problem. Nothing was edited except for me being nice and removing the person’s badge number (note his spelling/grammar).

“After doing a routine image restore, the computer suddenly locks up right after the Intel Boot Agent screen (of which we don`t use). Many things have been done to resolve but nothing works. We think it`s some issue with the on-board LAN/NIC. Help/suggestions are needed and if nothing else works, a replacement is required.”

Jason: Welcome to Gateway Remote Assistance. I am looking at your account and the information you submitted. I will begin troubleshooting with you in just a moment.
Jason: Hello (my name)!
Me: Hello.
Jason: have you reinsall the driver?
Me: As I stated when I filled out the form for the chat session, the system hangs right after the Intel Boot Agent screen right after the POST screen. I can’t get into the BIOS, I can’t get to the Boot Order menu, I can’t boot off of a disk or CD, I tried re-setting the CMOS with no luck… nothing works.
Me: The only thing I CAN get into is the Boot Agent setup screen by pressing Ctrl+S, which does no good though as we don’t use it and there’s nothing there to help.
Jason: Have you try to boot in safe mode
Jason: then do the system restire there.
Me: Pressing any key, either F1, F2, F8, F10, whatever doesn’t work as it hangs the split second after the Intel Boot Agent section. Nothing happens after that. Nothing is accessible. This is why I think it’s the on-board LAN/NIC that is suddenly causing problems, for some unknown reason.
Me: If I could get into the BIOS, I would disable the boot agent, but I can’t. If I could get anywhere, I could fix it, but I can’t. Is there some sort of key combination I can press to bypass the Boot Agent manually? Or anything similar?

(a few minutes pass…)

Me: Hello?

(more minutes pass…)

Me: Anyone there?
Jason: yes.
Me: So can you help? Any suggestions?
Jason: Have you try to restore in safe mode?

(WTF?!)

Me: Did you not read what I said above? If I could get into Safe Mode, then that would be getting somewhere, but I CAN’T get anywhere. Even if I could get into Safe Mode, it wouldn’t do much get (meaning if I tried a System Restore) as our company doesn’t use System Restore.
Me: If you can’t help or you don’t have any suggestions, please send me to someone who can or please give me a replacement on the computer (or at least the motherboard) as it’s still under warranty.
Jason: Reinstalling your os is the last option .

(WHAT?!)

Me: Umm, it has NOTHING to do with the OS. This has to do with the HARDWARE. If I could update the BIOS, that might fix something as I may be able to disable the Boot Agent as it seems to be causing the problems. Anyway, thanks for helping. I guess I’ll be calling Gateway now for a replacement…
Jason: BIOS update,
Me: Yes, it would be nice if I could update the BIOS, but since I can’t boot off of a CD or floppy disk, it does me no good.
Jason: Have you try to change your boot option?
Jason: (gives web link to BIOS update download)
Jason: that is the link where you can download the bios update.
Me: OK, obviously you are not reading what I’m saying. For the last time, I can NOT get into the BIOS to change the boot order. I CANNOT also press F10 to change the boot order. The system hangs before anything like that can be done!
Jason: there is your bios update.

(Bangs head on desk…)

Me: Nevermind… I’m calling Gateway now…
Jason: It was a pleasure working with you. My name and badge number are Jason. Thank you for using Gateway Remote Assistance and have a great day.

Well, lessons learned, I wont be chatting with Gateway online anytime in the near future…

You know, for a lot of people out there, the majority of us who don’t have a lot of money, it’s easy to say “We can’t afford that” or to just not buy something even though you really want it, because you know you can’t afford it. This is even somewhat prevalent in people that DO have money, as there’s always a point where “enough is enough” (haha! Did I really say that?). But then, you have other people (hopefully very few, or I just feel even more depressed about the human race), who seem to think a different way, a seemingly psychotic and completely illogical way, like This One Lady. It’s one thing to have large credit card debt, but to have enough debt that it could pay off my house (seriously people, my nice house here in good ol Montana cost as much as her entire CC debt) and then, with no remorse or care for the other people in your family, keep raking up the debt, well you’ve crossed into what I like to call ” The someone-needs-to-smack-the-shit-out-of-you-to-knock-some-sense-into-you Zone“. Seriously people, either she’s completely insane and lives in another world, or… well, there is no or… she’s insane damnit. And her husband is even worse, the damn bastard (if I made as much as he did a month, I’d be rich now).

On a happier note, since my job entails a lot of different things, I’ve had the pleasure to buy and use Replay A/V and the rest of the suite, and I have to say it’s been doing fantastic. I always had my doubts in the past, but when all of my other freeware options, and even some paid ones, couldn’t cut the bill, it seems Replay A/V came out on top.

For today’s conclusion, I’ll leave you all with something special for the kiddos and the anime porn specialists alike: Pikachu Vagina (SFW). Enjoy!

BONUS: For those of you who are gamers out there, I’ve seemed to have finally found a high quality version of the ending credits and song to the new awesome game, Portal. I’ll add it to my downloads site soon.