The Life Of A LittlBUGer

Ahh yes, Halloween.  One of the only times of the year where my wife goes crazy (well, more than usual I mean).  She is so gullible and so easy to scare (I mean, Harry Potter scares her) and yet her most favorite holiday of the year is Halloween.  She goes all out on exterior things such as pumpkins, lights, hey, spooky sounds, and other stuff, and the same with the interior of our home.  But, things get a little hectic during our costume choosing and then of course Halloween night.

Seriously, last year she wanted to be some sort of Pharaoh/Greek/Caesar lady and wanted me to be the accompanying guy.  Well, her costume turned out to be great, as she’s hot and she can make a long white dress type of thing look good.  On the other hand, mine (though it was made for a man) looked almost exactly like hers.  She loved it of course, but I did not.  I wore it anyway (silly me) and it turned out I was right.  As we were walking about, going trick or treating with our kids in the freezing cold (it usually snows her in Montana right before Halloween night), all dressed up as we were, we walked past a couple of  10-12 year olds.  At that time, I was pushing our stroller, as it was a backup in case our youngest at the time (our little boy who was 1) didn’t want to walk anymore and it provided ample candy storage.  Well, as we past those kids, they both laughed at me and asked “What are you supposed to be, a woman?”, and laughed some more.  I replied with the likes of “No, I’m Caesar…” to which they sharply replied “Oh, well isn’t it the woman’s job to be pushing the stroller?” and they laughed and walked off.  Holy crap you should have seen my wife when she heard that.  She is a bold person who stands up for herself and doesn’t take any shit or femist crap from anyone.  Me, being me, was nice about it and just asked her to please listen to me for once (she still doesn’t of course) and what a fun 5 minute night we had (I told you it was freezing).

So costume time came around this year, and I was dreading for the worst.  Luckily, my oldest son, 4, wanted to be Optimus Prime of the Transformers and wanted me to also be the same (like a son/dad or little/big kind of thing) so I thought that would be a lot better than last year.  Well, though my son likes it, I still look like a fricken idiot.  Luckily I have a mask so it’s not quite as bad…

Anyway, to make a longer story shorter, never take your kids to a public Halloween event at a tiny school where they have 10 games and about 1000 kids in a tiny gym to play them all, and never listen to your wife… ever. 

Don’t you just love how the ads on my site are primarily displaying somewhat “adult” links about vasectomies right next to non-adult links about Team Fortress 2? I know I do. Oh, and don’t forget the ones about “Castrating Devices”… what joy can be had by just looking at some ads!  Clicking on them is fun too, lots more information about stuff you really didn’t need or want to know!

I had an experience just the other day that I know I’ll never forget. They call it… a vasectomy…

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You only get one chance, no saves or restore points, no second chances or time to think about an action before it’s done or see the future before it’s set… where would you want to play in the game of life?

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Life… is like a game… and no not the damn board game… damn evil thing. No, life is like a computer game… with different difficulty levels.

Now, you only get once chance, no saves or restore points, no second chances or time to think about an action before it’s done or see the future before it’s set… where would you want to play in the game of life?

Choices:

- Unmarried/Single life is like the Tutorial Level: You are just learning who you are and what you need to do (and how to do it) or if you already know, then it’s just damn ridiculously easy and fun.

- Married/Partnered life is like playing at Very Easy: Money and health aren’t an issue and you usually just have too much damn fun screwing around the game all the time with your significant other.

- Married with One Child is like playing at Easy: You’ve finally begun your quest at an official difficultly and yet can still enjoy the simpler things in the game and have some decent fun with few worries or challenges.

- Married with Two Children is like playing at Medium/Normal: Now you are in a place where most other people are and where most are expected to go and you now realize that things aren’t as fun anymore and difficultly has greatly increased, but you still get by OK.

- Married with Three Children is like playing at Hard: You understand the meaning of work, pain, suffering and the like and struggle to get through on most occasions though you get gratification of eventually accomplishing the many large difficult tasks/challenges/obstacles laid before you.

- Married with Four Children is like playing at Very Hard: You envy everyone else while no one envies you and life seems to be almost like living in Hell while being attacked all of the time with only the few high points that keep you going, away from the brink of death at every turn, no matter the intense pain and suffering constantly presented.

- Married with Five Or More Children is like playing at Extreme/Insane/Hell/etc.: You’ve lost grip with yourself, your partner, your friends and with reality and have gone completely insane and wish to either die quickly or kill everyone else without a pause of thought or emotion or remorse… OR you are just a crazy Mormon with too much damn time on your hands.
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I thought you’d say that.

NOTE: This story is in no way meant to hurt or be rude to those that are Mormon or to the Mormon religion. I happen to have Mormon friends and think very highly of them. I just can’t help the thought that every single Mormon family I’ve encountered has at least 5 kids, or more like at least 10. Please disregard any comments made to Mormons here… Thank you.

Welcome all to my new blog! I’ve been contemplating whether or not I should actually start one, so I finally did. It’s still under construction but should be fully ready soon. Until then, I’ll post a few entires I’ve already posted in my forums to get things started. Please, tell all your friends, and enjoy!